Building Trust at Every Level of Your Career

Early in my career, I was eager to find a place to learn and grow with others, feeling comfortable enough to admit my mistakes and weaknesses. Instead, I crowded my mind with a handful of: "I hope they won't find out I don't know how git rebase works.", "Ugh, I don't know half the acronyms everyone uses.", "What was a left join again? I need to look this up quickly!", and so on. I second-guessed every move and was anxious to admit when I didn’t know something. At the time, I didn’t realize I didn’t trust the team enough and would rather keep all these questions for myself. These daily thoughts were not a sustainable way to start a career. They were trapping me in a cycle of self-doubt and isolation, hindering my growth.

Building Trust As an IC

My impostor syndrome held me back, brushing away any chance to be part of a community. I felt the constant struggle of having to do it all by myself. Then, with a glimpse of mental clarity, I drove back down memory lane. I remembered that I had been the one building communities before, but not in a professional setting. It all came back. Building this environment requires deliberate work; it doesn't just "happen" over time.

I went through ups and downs when I worked at startups or smaller companies. Poor leadership often caused a lack of trust between peers. You would try to outshine your teammates and hoard knowledge to sound brighter. Not only did this make me feel lonelier than before, it eventually fostered unhealthy competition.

Collaboration was a second-class citizen. It created uncomfortable dynamics because you wanted to take credit for the work done. It was hard to make good, lasting decisions; everyone wanted to push for their idea even when it was not the best. Only one could win and get the trophy! (Spoiler alert: there was no trophy.) I didn't know how to change this, and I didn't feel empowered to try.

Looking back, I should have taken the initiative and talked to my manager. I was blown away by how people could run a company or manage a team at such a young age. I was sure they had it all figured out. How come they couldn't fix it? There was no way someone like me could help, right? It turns out they were also figuring it out. They didn't intend to create this environment and could have used someone to call it out.

At this point in my career, I thought I could gain trust only by delivering excellent work. I was uncertain about many things but was confident in my creative problem-solving. I doubled down on that and was eventually offered to be a leader at the company. Since I found myself trusting people who were either delivering or were trying hard to do so, I figured that’s how I should behave to gain the team’s trust.

My tips for building trust as an IC:

• Deliver excellent work.
• Go out of your way to help others.
• Communicate openly and frequently with your manager.

Building Trust As a Manager or Senior IC

As I advanced to managerial and director roles, I've been committed to creating a safe space. If I didn't feel empowered to lead those changes before, others likely felt the same. I knew it was a leadership problem then, so I wanted to be part of the solution this time. It all began with establishing a simple yet effective group chat for the team to focus on collaboration. It allows for exchanging ideas, asking for help, calculated risk-taking, and cultivating good rapport and trust.

I led the effort by showing my weaknesses and knowledge gaps. Doing so gave the team a clear signal: not everyone needs to know everything. I promoted the idea that, as a team, we need to support each other in overcoming our individual limitations. This approach helped foster conversations as equals where every member not only shared their ideas freely but also discovered how to serve the team more effectively, thereby building lasting trust.

At this stage in your career, you have the power to make a difference. Don’t hesitate to try different approaches. Observe how your team handles each change and adapt accordingly. Most importantly, collect feedback!

My tips for building trust as a Manager and also beneficial for Senior ICs:

• Show up when your team needs it.
• Listen openly and act quickly to resolve issues and blockers.
• Ask for feedback frequently.
• Create a safe space for the team.

“A Safe Space” means any place where:

• Anyone can openly challenge ideas without fearing repercussions.
• They feel comfortable disagreeing with one another.
• Anyone can admit when they make a mistake and know the team will be there to help.

Bring trust to your team today, by sharing this post with them!

Building Trust As a Director or Staff IC

As a director, the challenge of building trust extends beyond your teams. It goes across the entire engineering organization, which inevitably carries a different weight. In a way, this feels less natural. You must actively keep the trust level high, or project collaborations will fall apart quickly. You might lack day-to-day interactions, so you must plan how trust can be managed consistently.

Not too long ago, we needed to collaborate with a team in a different time zone. We both intended to make the relationship work, but we had to overcome the difficulties of having only a few overlapping working hours. There was a lot of transparency in surfacing concerns and challenges each team faced, which made the conversation simpler and more focused. I was eager to learn from them what an ideal collaboration looked like. This helped build trust and align us on goals. We eventually documented our strategy, which served as a reference for the future. We also settled for recurring check-ins, which helped maintain trust.

My top tips and habits for Directors and Staff ICs that I served my teams well:

• Ask for feedback, listen openly, act on it, and follow up. Communication channels should be open, especially for skip-level 1:1s.
• Encourage cross-team collaborations. This can take the form of a roundtable, a happy hour, or anything that helps avoid silos.
• Help and support your managers so they can iterate on trust-building within their teams.
• Be transparent by letting the team understand how decisions are made, the priorities, and what obstacles stand in the way of success.

Conclusion

Key strategies for building trust and collaboration include creating a safe space for team growth, clarifying alignment and challenges, and promoting open and transparent communication. As one's role grows within an organization, the scale of trust-building changes, significantly impacting the business and team's success. I hope it’s clear that you can make a change for the better, no matter where you are in your career.

A team with individuals who trust each other will outperform a team that doesn’t.