Language and Clarity
In the last two days I shared, was sent, or discussed communication effectiveness with my peers at work. Then, today, I stumbled upon a good gem: "The Precise Language of Good Management". It made me reflect on how people and leaders communicate. When you're presented with the same argument but in two different forms, one with a handful of "uhms" and the other with a clear and concise message, it is shocking how different the message is perceived. You can do this exercise on your own and test it on your partner, a friend, or even recording yourself.
When I started my journey as a Manager, I promised myself I would try my hardest to avoid confusion in my performance reviews. It gets incredibly easy to understand how it affects people when you put yourself in their shoes. And, most importantly, I care deeply about other's growth and do not want to disappoint. When you say (quoting the article directly):
"Oh you’re doing well, communication could improve a bit but overall you’re doing well."
It's bad for a few reasons. First, it's not clear what "communication" is referring to. Is it the way you communicate with the team, with me, with other teams? Second, it's not clear what "improve a bit" means. Is it a 10% improvement, a 50% improvement? Third, it's not clear what "overall you’re doing well" means. Is it a 90% doing well, a 50% doing well? To make things worse, some people might accept this feedback and, even though they have some reservations, nod pretending to agree. Not everyone is comfortable with confrontation, which can often play against them. Being in a position of power, it's your job to make sure that doesn't happen.
Being able to read social cues can help. I remember once catching a glimpse of discomfort during a review that someone disagreed with. By trying ot be nice, they avoided the confrontation and that's when I pressed to understand what they disagreed with. As a result, our relationship grew stronger and we both learned a few more things about how to communicate with one another.
When you discuss anything, be as direct as you can. Avoid communication "fillers" that end up diluting your message. Provide clear directions and messages, don't dance around it for 20 minutes.
Thoughts
It's challenging to change to way you communicate, my anecdotal suggestion is to slow down. Don't let your instinct and reflex take over, give yourself some time to think about what you're going to say next. Be comfortable with silence in between words or sentences, the "uhms" often make it worse.
Work on your communication and gather feedback any chance you get. Be intentional in the way you share an idea and you can get started practicing by reviewing your writing first. One step at a time.