Don't Adapt to Your Manager
I stumbled upon an article today from Jordan Cutler 5 Lessons I learned the hard way from 6 years as a software engineer. And while this is a non-exhaustive list full of good ideas, the 4th lesson didn't sound right to me.
In "Adapt to Your Manager" he briefly describes the need to adapt to different managerial styles and I'm afraid the example he brought up is a bit worrisome. I can tell his intentions are good, he pushes for you to be your first advocate and plan for your career growth independently of the manager you get. I don't disagree with that BUT he's being too nice. Especially when covering career growth, he mentions that "Others" [managers] may have too much on their plate to be able to give you that level of attention".
That's not having too much on your plate, that's being a terrible manager. If there is one top priority for someone leading a team, it's to help them grow and outline a clear path forward with action items. As a manager, I would never think I did a good job if I couldn't cut out enough time to support each IC in achieving their goals. This should be a big red flag. I understand that not everyone gets to have a manager who focuses on the right things, and I'd say that the spirit of being proactive is welcomed. But let's call it how it is, a manager who doesn't reserve time to discuss your professional career is just not doing their job.
Another example is the way 1:1s are conducted. These meetings are for ICs to have undivided attention from their manager and they are a very personal space. This is another place where it's the Manager's job to adapt to what works best for each person. Any time it comes to very individual exchanges or processes, the Manager should set guidelines but still adapt to what works best for the IC, not the other way around. The communication style changes with different people and a Manager who doesn't understand that is doing a poor job.
Thoughts
I think overall Jordan has a good idea in mind, don't wait around for things that really matter to you. You should be proactive and lead upwards (I love the concept of leading upwards very very much). Show that initiative, nothing stops you from setting the right expectations with your manager. I think that's what they hint at in the "get feedback" part where you agree with your Manager about the plan you drafted. In larger companies, this should follow clear guidelines. At MongoDB we work constantly to refine expectations for each engineering level and understand that clear examples are key to determine quantifiable progress. The finer details are up to you and your manager but the trajectory for career progress should be clear across the whole engineering department.