Competitiveness

Today, I want to talk about competitiveness. Throughout my life, I’ve always had a certain drive, a push to give my best when faced with a challenge. Some people thrive in those moments, energized by obstacles, while others can feel discouraged, overwhelmed by the fear of failure. I’ve experienced both sides and, through that, gained a better understanding of how I handle competition.

The fear of failure can be paralyzing, making you second-guess yourself and hesitate to take on challenges. I used to view failure as purely negative, but I’ve come to realize it’s a crucial part of growth. Failure, in the right context, is an opportunity to learn. When you approach it with a growth mindset, it becomes a stepping stone toward improvement.

The competitive drive pushes me to seek an advantage—not always in direct competition with others, but in personal goals. It’s about striving to be better and continuously improving.

Competitiveness can be both a motivator and a source of stress. In its healthiest form, it encourages improvement and inspires those around you. Healthy competition pushes you to reach your full potential. But if not managed well, it can become overwhelming, leading to unnecessary pressure and anxiety.

I’ve found that too much pressure can distract you from the actual goal. It’s easy to create unnecessary stress by overestimating the challenge ahead or underestimating your own capabilities. The key is balancing the drive to win with the understanding that losing is sometimes part of the process.

A lesson I’ve learned over time is that success isn’t always about winning—it’s about being prepared and giving your best effort. What I’ve come to hate the most is facing a challenge knowing I didn’t prepare adequately. That feeling of unpreparedness can lead to disappointment, not because of the loss itself, but because I know I could have done better.

On the flip side, even if I lose after giving it my all, there’s a sense of satisfaction in knowing I did everything I could. It’s this mindset of preparation that allows me to learn from failure and grow, rather than being discouraged by it.

Early in my career, I interviewed with Google. Going in, I doubted myself, convinced that the challenge was too great. Though I prepared, I approached it with the belief that I would fail, which inevitably held me back. Afterward, I realized that I had missed an opportunity—not because I wasn’t capable, but because I didn’t trust my own preparation. Self-belief is just as important as preparation.

This experience taught me that mindset matters. If I had entered that interview with more confidence, I might have seen the outcome differently. It’s a lesson I carry with me in all challenges now: prepare thoroughly, trust the process, and believe in yourself.

As I’ve matured, I’ve shifted my focus from competing with others to competing with myself. The real challenge is in surpassing your own expectations, not just outdoing someone else. Whether it’s improving a technical skill, mastering a hobby, or advancing in my career, I’m always pushing myself to be better than I was yesterday.

That said, external motivators like naysayers or “nemeses” can still play a role. Early in my career, I often found myself driven by the need to prove others wrong. It wasn’t about undermining their expertise, but about showing that I was capable. These challenges pushed me to grow, and in many cases, I ended up forming strong relationships with the very people I felt compelled to prove myself to.

Thoughts

In the end, competitiveness is about balance. It can drive you to achieve great things, but only if you manage it wisely. You have to stay realistic—understanding that you won’t always win is crucial. What matters most is how you handle those moments and what you take away from them.

For me, competition is now about beating my own expectations. It’s less about external validation and more about pushing myself to reach new heights. Setting goals, preparing thoroughly, and trusting the process are what keep me moving forward.

So, set your goals, embrace challenges, and allow your competitive spirit to drive you. Just remember to keep it in check, and let it motivate you to grow, rather than stress you out. Competitiveness can be a healthy force—one that fuels improvement without overwhelming you.